It’s amazing how many hot guys are walking around the CD section of Wal-Mart on a Saturday…. ;)
Rofl I have no idea why I picked that title except for the fact I thought it was really funny. And true. Of course, I see these guys on the Saturday I decided to wear a bulky jacket, I didn’t do my hair or put on any make-up, my shoes were kinda strange, and my jeans were looking scary…. Lol God has a unique sense of humor. 😉
Listening to this song always makes me feel better.
So does reading this story. Especially when you read the story while you’re listening to the song. 😀
In my dream, I was in a dark room I had never seen before. All around me was a dull, empty, gray space. I turned and looked as far as I could see in every direction, but there was no end. Only gray. Boring gray. My shallow breathing echoed faintly throughout the lifeless place. The room was so cold I could see my breath form into mist, though I didn’t shiver.
Suddenly a wall appeared in front of me, a wall so high I couldn’t see the top. I turned to my left and right and saw the wall continued endlessly in both directions. The wall was also a dark gray, and it looked so thick it scared me.
Then something changed. Where the wall once was, an enormous mirror appeared. When I looked up, the mirror reached higher than I could see, just like the wall, and it was the same when I glanced to my left and right. Then I looked in the mirror. My breath caught.
I saw a reflection of me, which was to be expected I suppose. Just the same, boring, old, me that couldn’t ever be perfect enough for anything, or anyone. The one thing I wanted more than anything was to know I was beautiful, and I knew I wasn’t. That much was clear in this dull boring space with my dull, boring reflection. I saw a list of things I needed to change. I was too fat in my stomach. My arms were too weak. My clothes were too boring. My hair was too plain. My skin was dotted with ugly red spots I couldn’t seem to get rid of, no matter how hard I tried. And my eyes were too big and pitiful and pathetic. Desperation and anger ran shot through me. I flew forward and pounded my fists into the mirror with all of my might, my weak voice breaking into shrieks and wails. Each time I thrashed the mirror, I saw the faces of those I had disappointed, all of the opportunities I missed because of my fear, all of the times I had cried so hard I thought my eyes would burst. But the mirror didn’t shatter. It seemed to get thicker and harder each time I hit it. Not once could I even form a crack in the formidable glass. My knuckles and hands were screaming in pain. When I realized my cries were echoing throughout the lifeless cavern, I sank to my knees and wept.
Then I felt something warm on my back. The sensation was so soothing it stilled my tears. I glanced at the mirror, but I couldn’t see anything behind me in the reflection. It felt like warm, comfortable sunshine. It was nice, and I almost smiled. Almost. I knew if I smiled I would see it in the mirror. My sad, dull, pitiful smile that was never dazzling enough for anyone.
The warm sensation just kept getting warmer and more pleasant as the moments dragged on. I knew by now it should be burning my skin, but it didn’t. Eventually, my curiosity got the better of me. I turned around to see where the source of the warmth was coming from.
A man stood about ten feet behind me. He was wearing a dazzling robe in different colors of red, blue, green, purple, and white along with colors I had never seen before. On his head was the most beautiful crown I had ever seen, with thousands of jewels sparkling like a kaleidoscope. All around him the room was shimmering with a light that greatly contrasted the dull gray room that had surrounded me before. The sight was so breathtaking that for a few moments I couldn’t breathe, let alone speak.
After a moment, he took a step toward me. I froze like a statue and hoped with all my might I was invisible. But he just kept walking. Inexplicable terror coursed through me. I began to tremble. When he came to a stop in front of me, he took my hands gently, trying to reassure me. Against my better judgment, I glanced at his face.
The love I saw glowing in his eyes was so breathtakingly beautiful and tender that I gasped. He kept looking at me in a way that made the tears course even faster and harder down my face, and I tried with all of my strength to hold back a sob. And for some strange, supernatural reason I couldn’t define, I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt the beautiful, magnificent, glorious miracle who stood before me was my Creator. I ducked my eyes quickly as confusion flowed along with the fear. Compared to this absolutely divine entity, I looked like the scum of the earth. I didn’t deserve to even be in this room. My eyes flickered around frantically, looking for escape, but I couldn’t find one. The instinct to hide became so strong I decided to try and bolt anyway and hope I found an exit. But when I tried to move, he squeezed my hands. His hands were gentle, but I could tell he wasn’t going to let me leave.
“It’s all right.” he said softly. “There’s no reason to be afraid.”
Very tenderly, he turned me so we were both stood five feet away from the mirror again. This time I could see both of our reflections, his heavenly loveliness glowing brightly. And I could see me standing next to him. Boring, dull, gray, miserable me. Thinking of the pitiful comparison as I had before, was one thing. Actually seeing how pathetically ugly I was standing next to him was an entirely different thing altogether. I tried to run again, pulling against his hands, but he wouldn’t let go, though his touch was still gentle.
“Don’t be afraid. It’s all right. Be still.” he whispered. After a moment I relaxed. He turned to look at the mirror again, and I followed his gaze. I tried to shut what I saw in the mirror as I waited for whatever he was about to do.
After a moment, he let go of my hand, and I didn’t feel the need to run again. The peace and relaxation that coursed through me was enough to keep my feet in place as I watched him. He took a step toward the mirror and stared at it for a moment. Then, so fast that I almost missed it, he snapped his fist forward into the mirror. In an instant, the whole mirror turned as red as blood. Then the mirror began to crack into a complex network of fractures that resembled a spiderweb. For an endless moment, nothing happened. The room was dead silent. Then the red disappeared. The booming sound of the glass shattering to the floor was almost deafening. Thousands of pieces rained down around me, the shimmering radiance that filled the room reflecting off the pieces as they came crashing down, though they never touched me. I turned my head quickly to the left and right. Like a waterfall, the whole mirror shattered and I saw each and every piece come smashing down in a thunderous roar like a wave. It felt like eternity before it stopped. When it did, I turned to look at the man again.
His hand was still suspended out towards the mirror as he turned his head left and right, as if verifying the mirror was destroyed. His fist was covered with blood that ran down his arm and started to trickle to the floor, forming a small puddle. He started to drop his arm, but something caught my attention. A scar the size of a nickel on his wrist caught my eye, but he dropped his arm before I could confirm.
He turned to me, his face beaming with a dazzling smile. My mouth fell open in astonishment. He stepped in front of me. I now faced him.
“It is finished.” he whispered as he exhaled. He didn’t move for several minutes. I went numb as I considered everything that had just happened.
Then, without warning, he wrapped his arms around me and hugged me so tightly I couldn’t breath. He started to laugh with excitement, and my brain froze. Why was he laughing? After a moment, when he felt my lack of response, he let go.
“Don’t you see?” he said eagerly, his eyes sparkling brightly.
“No?” I stammered after a moment, not sure of what I should say.
He put his hands on my shoulders. “Look!” he cheered as he turned me to face the mirror again.
All I expected to see was the gray wall. I had just watched the gigantic, unbreakable mirror turn blood red and shatter to pieces before my very eyes. So I was stunned to see another mirror in the place of the first one. I looked up to see that, just like before, it reached far above me and I couldn’t see the top. I turned to my left and right and saw this new mirror also ran endlessly in both directions. But this mirror was different. It didn’t reflect an dull, lifeless, gray room. Instead it reflected the radiance glowing all around me. I could feel the warm sunshine heat emanate from the mirror. It warmed my face. Then I looked at my reflection for the first time.
In the place where I stood in the reflection stood the most beautiful girl I had ever seen. Her hair was luscious and vibrant. Her skin was beautifully clear and glowing. Her eyes were glittering in the light and she was wearing the most beautiful sky blue dress I had ever seen, my favorite color. Standing next to her was the man, his hands on her shoulders in a loving gesture, his crown sparkling even brighter than before because of all of the light in the room. His smile was glorious, and I knew that even though the girl in the reflection was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen, she paled in comparison to his majesty. I smiled because I realized that I wasn’t ashamed of the comparison. The girl in the reflection smiled too and I froze. So did she. When we both didn’t move, my eyes flickered to the man and back again. I saw in my peripheral vision that her eyes flickered to. The man looked like he was trying to hold back a laugh. Confusion swept through me and a puzzled expression crossed the girl’s face. I tilted my head to study her, and she did the same.
“Wait a minute…” I whispered after a moment. “Is that… is that… me?” I asked, stunned by the idea.
The Creator’s astonishing smile grew even wider. “Yes beloved. That’s how I see you. That’s how I’ve always seen you and will always see you. You are beautiful to me beyond compare.”
A gasp of exultation bubbled out of me and I felt tears coursing down my face again, this time from joy. I had never felt happier in my entire life than this moment. If this is how my amazing, glorious, wonderful, marvelous Creator thought of ME, then it must be true.
I was beautiful.
Just thought I would share. Writing stories like these is my version of poetry.
😀 😀 😀